Stupid questions


The photograph accompanying this blog post shows a church marquee. The words on the marquee say, “IF EVOLUTION IS REAL WHY DO WE NEED MOTHERS?” I photographed this marquee on the afternoon of Monday, June 9, 2014.

This level of stupidity deserves special recognition. When I saw the marquee it was like observing a volcano of stupidity, a deluge of stupidity, and a tornado of stupidity occurring simultaneously. Any sensible person with a camera would have taken a picture of it.

People who know me and who have read my book may be shocked that I would use the word stupidity. It is a word I am scrupulous to avoid because I think it sounds rude and, moreover, it is usually inaccurate. But I cannot for the life of me avoid using the word in reference to this stupid marquee.

In fact, I hereby challenge anyone to find any church marquee that conveys a deeper level of stupidity than does this marquee. It is not even clear why anyone would have even “thought” to ask such an incredibly moronic and inane question. In what way is the existence of mothers even conceivably a threat to evolutionary theory?

I had almost decided that no question could be any stupider than the one I photographed. Then I remembered the Internet. So I searched for stupid questions asked on Yahoo and found the following:

  • Can I tell by the smell of my husband’s gas if he has been cheating?
  • Do midgets have night vision?
  • Can you lose your virginity if you fall?
  • Why does steam come out of my vagina?
  • Is there a spell to become a mermaid that actually works?
  • Is it okay to boil headphones?
  • What is the right age to start teaching my dog about sex?
  • My girlfriend has a lazy eye & she’s constantly looking at other women, should we break up?
  • My wife wants to eat her placenta. Is it OK if she is vegan?
  • Why is my sperm so powerful?
  • How do you get spaghetti stains out of underwear?
  • What incantations work best for summoning Jesus?
  • I was bitten by a turtle when I was a young lad, should I still drink orange juice?
  • Is there any possible way of making 2+2=5?
  • Why do my balls smell like ham?


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